Alright, for once I'm not sending a spamfic. Instead, it's a 
crossover, this time with the game known as Warhammer 40,000.
For those unfamiliar, it is a science fiction wargame set 
forty thousand years since the start of Human civilization,
or about thirty thousand years from now. There will be humor,
but also cosmic scale adventure. 

Disclaimer: The trolls in Great Britain at Games Workshop own
Warhammer 40,000; I don't. I don't own the Ranma characters,
either.

                  The Emporer's Hand

     The Emporer's body sat in the Golden Throne, the
arcane technological construct that sustained it beyond 
physical death, and his spirit soared through the cosmos.
It had barely been a century since the battle with the
Warmaster, Horus, that had marked the end of the worst
civil war that had rent his fledgling Imperium, and now
the form that had housed his immortal essence for thirty
thousand years lay rotting there.

     His soul free, the Emporer began to grow aghast at
the actions of his children. They began to fall to cultural
barbarism, regarding technology as a mystical or religious
secret, even as they grew more brutal and cold. They opened
themselves up to the very force of Chaos that had taken
his friend, the Warmaster, and made of him an enemy, all
the while actively fighting that force's manifestations,
the daemons, mutants, and deadly Champions of Chaos. The
Eye of Terror, where Realspace and the Warp, home of the
Gods of Chaos, overlap, grew each coming year.

     Chaos was not the only problem for his children. The
barbaric Orks, and their Gretchin slaves, would stage
frequent raids on whatever world they came across, to
pillage and destroy for no other reason for its own sake.
The insectoid Tyrranids, and their bioengineered slave
raves, such as the Genestealers, swarmed over world after
world to claim new genetic material. And the Eldar, who
should be Man's closest ally against the darkness far too
prevalent in he galaxy, was in an almost constant state of
way with the sons of Earth.

     Reaching out, he found those among Humanity in whom
his own bloodline was strong. Raising them to be his own
Champions, and naming them the Sensei, he sought to have
them lead his people to the way of enlightenment, so
that they would have the strength to simply reject Chaos,
and by doing so seal it away for all eternity. But the
humans percieved the Sensei to be just another form of the
Chaos Champions, and hunted them. The Emporer's soul wept
as, one by one, the Sensei were slain by those they were
sent to save, with no martyrhood to further their cause.

     Now, nearly ten thousand years after the Horus Heresy,
and forty thousand years since the start of Human 
civilization, the Emporer sought a different way. He would
send a Human among the Eldar, the ancient and graveful
race that once commanded the galaxy. They would sway the
Eldar into allying with Humanity instead of warring
against them. And, with the cessation of hostility, they
could help guide his children away fom their barbarity, 
and into that state which no force of Chaos could touch.
But none there lived who would trust the Eldar, now, and
none that could impress them enough to sway them. He would
have to reach through time and space, to the past. He
stretched forth his hand, reaching back ten, twenty, and
then thirty thousand years.

     Ah, yes. He will do. He will do nicely.

            ****************************

     Ranma Saotome decided that he _really_ didn't like
the taste of a bicycle tire. After all, he had tasted it
enough, with the number of times Shampoo's bike had 
landed on his face. Before he had a chance to express his
hard-earned decision, he found himself pulled to his feet,
and face to face with the overexcited Chinese Amazon. 
Most people who found themselves in such close proximity
to the gorgeous girl would simply relax, and enjoy the
intimacy. Instead, he felt the panic begin to rise.

     "RRRAAANNMMAA!" growled Akane. They had been on their
way home from school when the incident happened, and wasn't
too happy with him to begin with. During lunch, he had made
a lame excuse to escape the unknown contents of a bento
box she offered him, then gleefully accepted the meal that
Ukyou had prepared for him. Admittedly, he had then tried
Akane's meal, then had the gall to spend most of the next
two class periods at the Nurse's station.

     'Oh no. Not again.' thought Ranma, more out of resig-
nation than fear. He knew what was coming next, and decided
to go with the flow.

     BLAM! A shoe rose, connected with his chin, and shot
him out of Shampoo's grasp like toothpaste squirting from
a tube. Akane lowered her foot, and glared at him as he 
flew out of sight. "I don't believe him!"

     Shampoo stood next to her for a second, also keeping
an eye on the beautiful ballistic arc he traced in the
sky. "Why Violent Girl do that to Airen?"

     Akane turned on her. "Get it through your head,
Shampoo, he's not your husband! I don't care what your 
laws are, you aren't married!"

     Shampoo kept her eyes on Ranma, then her jaw dropped.
"Eeep!" was all she managed to squeak out, pointing to the
skyy.

     "What?" asked Akane, then followed the pointing finger.
Directly in her fiancee's path, a hole had opened up in
the sky. A huge, ephemeral hand reached out, and gently
arrested his headlong flight. Closing around the pigtailed
martial artist, it drew itself back in to the rip in time
and space, and it was gone. The only traces of the bizarre
phenomenon were the shocked expressions of two teenaged
girls. 

     "Oh, no," whispered Akane, "what have I done?"

     Despite common perception, Shampoo was not an airhead.
She knew that a Ranma removed from this reality was no good
to anyone, especially her. Akane was here, and she had also
seen what had happened. "Come on, Violent Girl. We go see
Great Grandmother."

     The Japanese girl glared at her for a second, then came
to the same realization. Mutely, and somewhat in shock, she
nodded. 'Oh, Ranma,' she thought. 'I hope you're okay...'

- Valandar the Red of the Empty Tankard

=====